“Ours to raise, theirs to enjoy.”!!!!

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It Doesn’t Take a Village to Raise a Child , It Takes Parents

People often say that it takes a village to raise a child. The idea is that relatives, neighbors and society all play an important role in a child’s life. While this may sound good, I believe that when it comes to parenting, the responsibility should stay with the parents.

Parenting is a personal journey. It is something parents do with love and intention. Only parents truly understand the values, routines and ways they want to raise their child. Too many opinions and advice from others can easily cause confusion. It can also take away the peace and consistency that children need.

This does not mean that children should grow up away from others. In fact, being around grandparents, relatives, neighbors and friends is very important. Children should be free to interact, explore and learn from different people. These moments help them develop social skills, empathy and confidence. But there is a difference between being part of a child’s world and taking part in their parenting.

With Rael, this has worked beautifully. From the very first day, my husband and I have been her primary caregivers. We share the responsibilities equally, taking turns depending on our work and routines. Sometimes I take charge, sometimes he does, but in the end we always make sure Rael is cared for fully by one of us. We take full responsibility for raising her and it has made a huge difference. Too much advice from all sides would have disturbed the way we want to bring her up. By keeping parenting decisions with us, Rael has grown with stability and security.

At the same time, we have never let our parents feel the pressure of raising a grandchild. Instead, they simply enjoy being with Rael. They play with her, watch her little mischief, and spend happy moments with her. They raised us with so much effort and energy. Why should they again carry the full responsibility of looking after grandchildren? Their way of parenting is also very different from ours. It is better to let them enjoy their own lives in peace.

We live with my husband’s parents and sometimes visit my parents too. In both homes, we are the ones in charge of Rael. The grandparents simply enjoy her company. I see how happy this makes them. My in-laws live freely. They attend church daily, take part in functions they like, enjoy gardening, go out when they wish, and even take long peaceful afternoon naps without worry. My parents too wait eagerly for Rael’s visits. They love watching her play and interact but without any stress. This balance makes everyone happy.

Rael is very social and loves people. She interacts beautifully with our neighbors in both homes. She greets people at the supermarket, at church, on the train, in the park, in restaurants, everywhere we go. She knows all her relatives by name and enjoys spending time with them. She plays happily with other kids, whether it is my friends’ children or neighborhood children. She makes them feel comfortable and invites them into her little world. These interactions enrich her life, while her parenting stays steady with us.

Some people may say that we are able to manage this way only because we are not living abroad. But I do not agree with that. Parenting choices are not about location, they are about decisions. I know many families abroad, including my own cousins and friends, who manage everything beautifully on their own. They raise their children with love and consistency, each in their own elegant way. It is not about where you live, but how you choose to parent.

For me, the role of parents is clear. Parents decide about food, routines, values, discipline and education. Others can give love, warmth and happy experiences. But the parenting should be done by the parents.

That is why I believe the old saying should be changed. It is not a village that raises a child. It is the parents. And the village can enrich the child’s world with love and joy.

"It takes parents to raise a child, and a village to enrich their world."




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