Schooling vs Learning !

 

Which School Does She Go To?

If I had a rupee for every time someone asked me this question, I'd probably have enough to pay for a few years of school already.

My daughter Rael is three years old. She doesn't go to preschool, and we are planning to send her to formal school only after she turns four.

For some reason, this seems to be a very big deal to many people.

Rael has always been a talkative and social child. Even when she was around one and a half years old, she would happily talk to people wherever we went. Shopkeepers, neighbours, strangers in queues, she would greet them, smile, and start a conversation.

People would often ask me, "How old is she?"

When I told them her age, they would usually respond with surprise.

"Really? She talks so well for her age."

"She's very smart."

Then, almost without fail, came the next question.

"Which preschool does she go to?"

When I replied that she wasn't going to school, I would get puzzled looks.

"Oh, really?"

Then Rael was small so may be that's why people didn't bother but now the very next moment comes with the advice.

"You should send her to school."

"That's where she'll learn to mingle with other children."

"Since she's your first child, school will be good for her."

Most of these comments came from people who had spent less than ten minutes with her.Recently, one of my neighbour's relatives met Rael for the first time.She asked, "Which class are you studying in?"

Rael replied, "I'm not going to school."

I smiled and said, "She's just three."

The lady immediately asked, "Not even going to Anganwadi?".Then she looked at Rael and said, "You're not even going to Anganwadi and staying at home simply."

I remember feeling irritated, but I kept my patience and replied that we were planning to send her to school only after she turned four.

What struck me was how quickly someone could make assumptions about a child they had just met.

How could she know what Rael does all day?

How could she know whether she is learning, playing, exploring, or interacting with others?

A few days later, my husband and Rael went to a nearby house to collect something.

As usual, Rael greeted everyone pleasantly, chatted with them, and happily said goodbye before leaving.

The lady there asked my husband, "Is she going to school?"

"No."

"How old is she?"

"Three."

Then came another familiar response.

"My granddaughter started preschool at two and half years old. She knows everything now."

My husband simply replied that he spends a lot of time with Rael and actively engages her in activities that support her physical, emotional, and mental development.

The conversation ended, but it left me thinking.

Why are people so bothered about whether a three year old goes to school?.And why is there such a strong belief that learning only happens inside a classroom?

What surprises me most is that the very same people who praise her confidence, communication skills, curiosity, and friendliness often seem shocked when they learn that she does not attend preschool.

Somewhere along the way, many of us have started equating schooling with learning.

But they are not the same thing.School is one place where learning can happen. It is not the only place.

Children learn through conversations, books, stories, music, play, outdoor experiences, relationships, observations, questions, and everyday life.

They learn while helping in the kitchen, visiting new places, talking to grandparents, making friends at parks, asking endless questions, and exploring the world around them.

I am not saying preschool is wrong.

Many children thrive there. Many families need it, prefer it, and find it beneficial.

But what works for one child may not work for another.

Every child is different.

Every family is different.

Every family's circumstances are different.

Some parents have the time and opportunity to be deeply involved in their child's early years. Others may need support from preschools or childcare. Neither choice is automatically better than the other.

What matters is finding what works best for that particular child and family.

I think we need to become more comfortable with the idea that there isn't only one correct path.

Not every child who stays home is missing out.

Not every child who attends preschool is ahead.

And not every parenting decision needs to be explained to strangers.

At the end of the day, parents know their child far better than someone who has spoken to them for five minutes.

So the next time you meet a child who isn't in preschool, perhaps don't assume they are sitting at home doing nothing.

They may be learning, growing, exploring, and thriving in ways you cannot see.

And perhaps that's enough.

Because childhood is not a race, and there is more than one way to learn.Sometimes the best thing we can do is trust parents to know their own child and respect the path they have chosen.